Autumn Almanac

Good Scary, not Bad Scary

Every day, I wake up and have a rough to-do list – and inevitably, something way outside of the plan happens. It keeps life interesting. Like I said in my first post, the newness of every day is something I try to embrace, because it will not always be like this (in a bittersweet way). 

That being said, the theme for my days seems to be in line with the cliche advice “Do one thing that scares you every day”. I’ve always disliked this advice for some reason, maybe because I felt like it didn’t need to be said (doing things outside my comfort zone is a norm for me) but on the flip side, some days it is perfectly okay to be content with routine and familiarity… It is okay to rest. That’s something I’m learning this year, and especially in the Balkans, where the pace of life is so much slower than in the States.

Anyway, last week, the scary thing I did was play a French horn audition with two men I had never met. I haven’t played horn in over a year, so even though I have 8 years of playing under my belt, I’m rusty. Then there’s the fact I went to a stranger’s apartment for it (before you worry for my sanity or safety, it was on the up-and-up with the Philharmonic and my Macedonian tutor) and there was a slight language barrier as well. 

On my walk to the audition, I ran into two people who go to my church, which made me feel part of the community. I made it to the apartment, met the two guys, and had a coffee with them, then prepared to play. I only brought my mouthpiece, so I borrowed one of their horns. Here’s when things got interesting (and by interesting, I mean I was blindsided and seriously doubted my own ability to play). 

It’s worth mentioning that in the French Horn world, there are F horns and Bb horns. In the States, I exclusively played F horn. Here in Macedonia, Bb horn is much more common – almost no one plays the F horn. Maybe you see where this is going. 

So… He handed me the horn, which immediately felt lighter than I was used to, but I didn’t think much of it. I played a few warm up notes, and it went fine. The problems occurred when I started trying to play scales… the notes were just not happening. Confused, I asked a few questions about the horn, then continued trying to play, although at this point it sounded like this was the first time I had touched a horn.

After an excruciating minute, we finally cleared up the miscommunication – this was in fact a Bb horn. Fortunately, I know how to switch a Bb horn to F (by holding down the thumb valve) so after I fully realized this, I was able to play a scales as normal. 

They heard what they needed to hear, and thank goodness I could put the horn down and go back to socializing with them. It was approaching dinner time, and one mentioned he was going to a kafana (traditional restaurant) with his wife and their friends. Casually, they invited me to join them for rakija and salad. I didn’t have anything else going on for the evening, and I will never turn down an invitation to kafana, so I said yes and we made our way up the block to eat. 

They ordered a few classic meze dishes like tomatoes with sirenje (sheep’s cheese) and peppers with kislo mleko (similar to greek yogurt), and of course, rakija, the spirit of Macedonia. We talked about our families, travels, the corruption in the country… Two hours passed quickly, and I decided to thank them, take my leave, and make my way home around 9pm.

Community and Cultural Differences

Every week, I try to go to the same restaurant for kebapi - there’s a picture of it under the Photos section near the top. A kind older man runs the place I go to for it, and usually he patiently lets me practice my language skills during dinner. It’s quite affordable as well, maybe $3 for the whole meal. Last week, he suggested we go for a coffee sometime soon, which I’ll take him up on at some point. It may take a little work, but the hospitality here is unmatched. 

Teaching is slowly getting easier - there is always at least one thing that doesn’t go as planned, and I have to adapt. The students really like Kahoot for vocabulary, so I’ve started incorporating that each week. Last week, the most memorable unplanned phenomenon was when one of my first year students approached me to tell me my lessons were “boring and too stretched out” after she asked for class to end early. Fortunately this didn’t bother me that much – I know my lessons are fun and I’m trying my best, and also this same student called out her peers earlier in class for ‘not knowing how to debate’... so honestly, no one was safe from the barbs she was throwing out that day. The rest of my students assured me that they enjoy our classes.

My coffee habits here are changing – it is now something I mostly just drink socially – at a cafe or in someone’s home. It makes it more enjoyable, I think, instead of chugging it to-go because I need the caffeine. I went out with two of my second-year students last weekend, and we spent a couple hours just sitting, talking, and having coffee – there was no rush to get to the next destination. It is becoming easier for me to be present in moments like this (with practice), because in the US, I was very used to always knowing my next move and checking things off the to-do list. I’m able to be more grateful for the small moments this way, which I love.

A friend from Conn and her boyfriend visited Skopje this week, and I got to see them two days in a row, and meet a couple of their local friends, too. She lives in Bulgaria for Fulbright; she extended to this year, so it is her second in the Balkans. It was lovely to see a familiar face and catch up. 😊

Halloween isn’t celebrated here like it is in the States… Some stores were decorated with pumpkins and ghost cut-outs, and a few bars had events, but otherwise, nothing too crazy. On the 1st of April here, the kids dress in costumes and go door-to-door asking for candy or money, so that’s their version of Halloween, minus anything scary or any ties to pagan rituals (which given the predominant conservative Orthodox culture here, makes sense). 

Final updates for now: I just finished A2 for Macedonian, so I’m beginning B1 lessons this week! I’m also planning a few short trips soon, both around Macedonia and abroad, so be on the lookout for those updates.

(Song Credit: The Kinks)